I have been trying to write more often but haven’t been for the last few days. I just had my braces adjusted the other day and I have been in extreme pain. Because I avoid taking something like Advil unless absolutely necessary, I haven’t been able to concentrate on much except pain.
The pain has significantly subsided luckily in time for Mother’s Day. What mom wants to be grumpy on Mother’s Day?! So here I sit at a cafe while my darling husband is out with the kids having fun. Funny thing is, as much as I enjoy my “me” time, I am ready to get back to my family after a couple of hours. I suppose that is the mother in me.
Those who knew me growing up will tell you I never ever thought I would be a mom. I swore over and over again I was never going to get married and certainly never have children! I was going to travel the world and be a career woman just like my Great Aunt Donna. Sadly for her, I now realize it is probably because she never met the right person because when I met my husband I felt something totally different. I call my children “love children” because they are both a complete manifestation of our love. As cheesy as that sounds it’s true. When I look into their eyes I get this overwhelming and intense feeling. How could two people create one person? How can this child before me be both me and my husband? And then our second child a different but second version of that? It’s magic I tell you!
I found out I was Type 1 diabetic about one year after my second child was born. Aside from being angry that I had to make so many dietary changes, I felt like it was such an unfortunate time to find this out. My children are 14 months apart. Therefore I had a 2 1/2 year old boy and a 1 year old little girl at the time. I thought to myself why now? It is already exhausting having two tiny children but now I have to completely overhaul my lifestyle? Yes, it was a slow process but it can be done. And rather than give up and wallow in my exhaustion and sadness I looked into the faces of my children. Who am I to give up in front of them? Who am I to leave them without a mother at a young age if I don’t take care of myself? And most importantly, what kind of example am I to them if I do not take control and own my condition?
Sure I can preach to them as I raise them but somehow I know that my actions and what I stand for will have a greater impact on their character. Instead of feeling sad and sorry for myself that I can’t live a “normal” life, I would rather show them the power of staying proactive and positive. As hard as it is being a mother, I imagine that it might have been harder dealing with my diabetes had I no children at all. And so it is that everyday I wake up with them, I am so happy I am a mom. A Type 1 diabetic mom. They are my constant reason for fighting, loving, and living. This one is for all of the Type 1 moms out there who feel this same way. Happy Mother’s Day!